Crucifying KaЯmina BuЯana

That is my foot wearing a 20cm heel. This makes me angry AND sad. Let me tell you why. I love shoes, specially heels, stilettos make me crazy, I am MAD about shoes... but, BUT I can't wear them. I am a 1.80mts woman, it's not that I am too embarassed to weat them, it's just that the world it's not made for a 2mts person, and that makes me feel very unconfortable. Despise all the looks I get (bad ones mostly) when I wear heels, it's SO goddamn hard for me to find pretty shoes in my size (10-US, 41-Ven), this is no contry for big men, or women what so ever. That's why I get so angry when I go out to buy shoes. It pisses me off not to find shit. And that starts a chain of insecurities about my own body. Everything I don't like about me physycally comes to the table and I ended up feeling so awkard, ugly and huge, HUGE (fat ass)... at last, depressed. It's very much out of question for me buying things on the Internet. It would make me a happy, happy woman;

Oh, Holywood… this is the album that lead me, almost 10 years ago, to a blinded love to Marilyn Manson. I mean the whole band… I’ve been listening MM for the last 10 years… I was 11, or so, when I first saw a music video of them from Mechanical animals. As a fan I can say I “know” MM as a distant admiror on a distant land can. Saying this I admit I don’t have a crush on MM as a man or as a character… I have a crush on him as an artist and creator. I don’t like simple things, I don’t even believe such thing as “simple” does exist. I think that’s what MM is… a bid complicated thing wich I have grown along with, and wich I had learnd to love. MM has became my drug, the whole thing is so addictive… I hate and I love it at the same time. I may not listen to them everyday, but I do think about MM everyday… this may be shallow or ever exagerated; but this is what you do when you’re addicted to something… is always with you, it haunts you in every thought, and you put a little bit of that in e