Crucifying KaЯmina BuЯana

Two nights ago was my aunt’s birthday. He turned 57 so I get him an almond marquise. It was so fucking expensive, but everybody seemed to like it, so I’m happy.

I've been having trouble sleeping again. I seen to keep being awake trought the whole night. It doesn't even matters how hard I try to fall asleep. I only get a few sleeping hours passing 6 am. Today I only slept three hours in a row. I really thought I was going to be so tires that I would just drop dead; but here I am, not even close to tired. I have no idea why I'm having insomnia again. Oh, and I don't have a celphone now. Yippies.

A couple weeks ago I had a dream, and last nigth I had another. This is a great thing because I don’t get to dream much. So, it was something like this: I was in some place I knew (I didn’t really knew it) to get a tattoo. So I got two tattoos in my fingers: I remember that one of them was the M of Metallica; but I don’t remember what was the other one about. After I got my tattoos y hid them with rings because I didn’t want my family finding out. After a while my tattoos started to disapear because of the rings… So, that was all about the tatoos. Then I was in my neighbohood and there were a lot of people on the streets. I found my brother in front of my house and he was taking a hot meal to some girl. I invited him to party but he said I had to go with him first to buy toperware to keep the meal hot. So we went to a store where he bougth a lunchbox and he gave it tome. Suddenly the girl arrived and he didn’t even saw me again because he was to busy with the girl. I felt kinda sad so...

I just came from watching Unknown with Liam Neeson, and the best thing of everything (even better than Liam Neeson) is that I got to eat caramel popcorn!!! I haven’t eaten those in years!!! OMG they’re my favorites!!! I had to! I love them! And I got to bu this cute lizard bracelet! I really love it. And this key too! t’s not as pretty as the last one, but I wanted a key anyway.

Drew another of my best friend Ody… not loving it but she wanted one so. It's saturday night and, as I slept till 2 pm, now I'm hyperactive (and hungry) so I did my nails. Yesterday I went with some friends to McDonald's and I finally after all this time I ate a fgucking burger. So fucking good, man. Then We went to my girls Vanessa's, and she made us mini pizzas! And guess what? I ate another fucking burger there. And then I ate this weird arabian sweet. It didin't taste so good, but I had to have it all because my firend's dad gave it to me... and he just stood there smiling and watching me while I was eating it.

I made another one of this little fellas. actually is one of my brother’s friends Melchor. We went to McDonald’s yesterday and he freacking loves burgers. By the way does anybody kows if this kind of chibi has a particular name in japanese?

Why aren't you married to meh?

You sexy old bastard.

I fall asleep at 7pm for three hours because I was fucking tired. Now it's 3:27 am and I'm not even sleepy at all. I hope my brother doesn't wake me up to go to the gym. I HATE getting up early so much. Anyways, today I restarted my english classes. Let's all agree that academy is a shitty hole where I don't really learn anything but practice my pronunciation with the teachers. I got a new teacher, so the man is cool, he laughes at my jokes anyway. I usually try to be funny and sociable out there(not like here in the internet). And he told me I have a terrific pronunciation... So not everyhing is a lost; I get to practice and talk about anything for two hours with some stragers. Heaven knows that sits me well, it's like a break from everything. Two funny things: there's another guy in class with my same last name, I can assure he's not related to me; at least not that I know of. And when I was going out from there I ran up with my last level teacher. It...

It’s 3:18 in the morning. Maybe an hour ago I was getting into an axiety attack, so I decided to make me busy using all the make up I never use. So I did a blue look. Still not sleepy at all. Looking up. Looking down. Now what?

This is the situation: My mom watches TV in my room, so out of nowhere she decided to buy a fucking huge TV screen for me that doesn’t even fit in my room because all the fucking furniture my mother keeps stucking inside. Now she and my uncle moved everything, got some shit out that I don’t even know, and my bed it’s a goddamn mess. I supossed to be thankful but for fucking sake WOULD SOMEBODY TELL ME FIRST?. No? Isn’t that a good idea? No? Ok.

Today was my second cousin's first communion party.. I really didn't want to go because I have some issues with my cousin. I ended up going to avoid the drama from my family, I really thought it was gonna be very boring but actually I had a lot of fun with my aunts and uncles. I gotta say, when my cousin comes to my house he "joke insults" everybody, but in the house if his wife he's a completely different person. Anyway, I finally can wear that maxi shirt with a huge belt without looking like a 12-week-pregnant. So I'm proud of myself and my new healthy life. Now, I gotta work out tomorrow because I ate a huge deal of lasagna today.

I had a dream last night, a dream in I don’t know how long. It was something like this: I was in a poor part of the city very well dressed, with a tight pencil skirt and really high pumps, because the singer of my brother’s band was getting married. So a lot of people and friends came out from nowere and we started to walk to the church. Some friends started to whistle at me because they didn’t recognize me. I guess I was looking very good. So we arrived at this church that was like in the top of a hill surrounded by an irregular wall. I was amazing in my pumps shaking my ass and all. Then we got into the church, but inside it didn’t look like a church at all. It actually was more like a bowling room, and there were like rehersal rooms with musicians. After realizing that we were kinda lost in there, we knew that we had lost the bride and the groom; all this time I was with my brother. Suddenly a bunch of people was with us and we were all confused because we couldn’t find the bride. ...

You guise have no idea what a huge CRUSH into Seth Meyers I'm having right now. I mean, look at him. LOOK AT HIM. I'm flying to NY and marrying him.

Now I started to make the huge musical notes to decorate the room where my cousin is having his sweet 15 birthday party. I’m a little confused about this whole thing, first of all there are gonna be balloons and musical notes in the walls, the center pieces of the tables are going to be fish bowls with actual fishes in them, the souvenirs are going to be colorful bracelets watches… and I don’t even know how this whole thing is going to keep togeteher. I don’t really think it’s gonna look good, there are too many different things going on; but every time I try to tell something they get mad and yell at me saying that I don’t like ANYTHING so I guess I shouldn’t even give my opinion. In the meanwhile everybody keeps buying things for the party… last thing I saw was some plastic fishes O.O WTF I got some notes done and put some gel glitter on top because I have no idea what to do with them. I'm getting some more done by tomorrow. I think I have to buy black papper because they only go...

My cousin's 15th birthday party is in three weeks, so now I'm starting to get things ready. I'm making the little cards for the souvenirs... this is so boring I'm gonna die.

«I think it would be nice to be able to wear extravagant hats, and gloves, and all these extravagant clothes and not be on the street and not be mocked for it or questioned why. … If you wear a fantastic hat during the day in the street people say ‘where are you going? why are you dressed like that?’ and it’s maybe the most annoying questions in the world. Why do we have to have a reason to dress up or to be glamorous or to have fun? Why do we have to have a reason for it? I hate it when people ask me why. Why not?» — Dita Von Teese This woman is wise.

Walking past a hot guy Expectation : Reality:

My grandmother just turned 81 today. EIGHTY FUCKING ONE YEARS OLD. I love her so much that I call her mama; and I call my actual mother whatever but “mom”. She raised me and still looks out for me. I can’t describe how much I love my grandma.

To James Hetfield. And I did it in front of a 3000 people crowd.

Today I was supossed to start my english classes (I am in the 12th level)… And I went there only to know that my class was not open (that academy is not precisely close to home). And the secretary was like: “I meant to call you and tell you you’ve been included in another class starting on 23th”. Oh, really? SHE MEANT TO CALL ME. “And when exatcly were you going to take the phone and let me know this important thing?. WHEN WHERE YOU GONNA LET ME KNOW. I am already here”. Whatever, I’m staying at home doing nothing for two more weeks. Isn’t that lovely. The little incident in the Academy made me upset. So I spend all my money in less than two hours. Looking at the bright side I had never got myself a pair of fake eyelashes! and now I got them!

Wanting to watch a cute movie I ended up seeing An Education ; problably not the best pick. Contrary to believes I do like a happy story with a nice ending. I am not even finishing this one because I will ended up getting depressed. I'm having that little nasty dark feeling right now, the one I have had before, and don't want things getting bad. So I am not even going there. It is quite funny how a single person can change your life, but anyway, I wouldn't know because I have only seen it in films... In real life another person usually got you change for the worse. This movie has not a happy ending, so I won't finish it. I don't need a moral that I already know. Now I'm gonna focus on something cheerful like my new crush/obsession with Bill Hader (and possibly, Seth Meyer). I know, I don't now what the fuck it's happening to me lately. P.S.: Read the plot of a movie before watching. P.S.2: I MUST learn to write english without using "I" so much...