NOT COOL AT ALL

Yesterday I wen to to my crush's house because "suppossedly" there was going to be a party... It was a bad night... bad, bad night. This cookies (baked by my his sister) were the best thing about the whole NON-party.

This is what my crush did the whole night... while me and other friends were talking. Particularly I was drinking and dancing by myself. At some point I just sat in a dark corner to drink... for hours... he never looked at me.

I felt so fucking dissapointed and sad. Fuck my fucking life.

As the nigth had been such a completely waste of time, and i was so emotionally unstable... I took a picture of myself inside his bathtub. I was drunk, that's all.

I was wearing a little black dress for him!!! A fucking super short dress, and he didn't even told me I was cute. I'm still so fucking pissed off... REALLY.

And this is what I wrote at 3 am when I arrived home:

This time I really had a sparkle of hope. I dreamed about you noticing me and even falling for me. I dreamed it all. But know you saw me and everything went straighy yo hell… them why did you wanted to see me today? To show me your totall caress of interest? To tell me to my face all the other girls you want to fuck? To ignored me?

I love my brother, I really do. But I’m tired everybody exchanging me for his friendship. What’s wrong with me? I am not really worth it? I didi everyhting for calling your attention tonigth, and you just ditch me.

I just hope I wake up tomorrow with not a single slice of interest in you. I’m done with the 20 year old and guitar players. Fuck you all. Maybe if life told me already that I’ll ve alone for all eternity and gave up every hope on humanity this would be so much more fucking easy.

I just can’t even cry anymore.