I had a little strange feeling about this new year’s eve, deep inside and itch of conciousnes about the mess of my life remained alive burning softly. I deliverly wanted to ignored because I had a big, A BIG, sense of hope that everything would work out for me the upcoming year. The negatively behaviour of my mind about being miserable every December 31th was absolutely denied, and I had a really nice and happy welcoming of the 2012. But a glimpse of that mysery that my life is by nature was represente by a small tickle in my gut that gave me the ramdom idea I was going to diw in the new year’s eve. The mind has its own weird ways to mess with oneself.
So far, this first day of this new year… I have made a good friend cry, made think to some strange that maybe I’m a hysteric bitch, a friendship of 10 years is maybe coming to an end. and found out finally that y crush new all along that I like and he never did anything about it (Now of course I have no interest on that guy, I honestly don’t want to be friends. The main thing for me it’s not that he doesn’t like me at all, but the fact that I made a huge ridicule this whole time). Nothing have change, hope has die and I feel like the biggest stupid ever. I’ve never felt this way in my entire life.