I drank two big BIG glasses of iced coffee with Bailey's... so not sleeping tonight. I am super hyper and can't burn my enegry of calm down my anxiety by dancing like crazy alone in my room because I have a back ache and my rigth knee is being a bitch.
Besides, the mother of my dear friend from college texted me at 2:00 am telling me her daugther just gave birth... and feel so damn guilty because I do not feel not even a little happy for her. I am a horrible person.
I am deeply concern about the bad state of my nails because of the terrible manicure I just gave me. My concience it's restless. This just confirms how terrible person I am.
I am so nervous that I'm hurting my fingers again ripping off the flesh around my nails... it hurts and can't stop. I need help.
I have a huge fear going on for a few days by now... I am not really sharing it but if it's true I'm jumping from the highest bridge in the city. And not even joking.
Not a single song from y iPod is what I need or what to hear rigth now... despair. falling into a deep dark hole of cruel despair.
And you know... the mind wonders. I'm having every single worry one can have at 3:30 in the morning.
No sleeping tonight, not at all...