Long time no see
Yesterday my best friend let me a message on FB: she wanted to se us -her friends- because it has been quite a while since we don’t gather. This morning I got a call from my friend’s mom, telling me that I was invited to a little reunion at her house, she even told me my friend didn’t knew she was calling me. I kind of had second thoughts, because the lady is sick, bipolar to be more specific; but she sounded so well that I didn’t see anything wrong with paying them a visit.
I’ve been there with them before with her mom sick and all, it hasn’t been a big of a deal. So I went and my friend was so surprised -and annoyed that her mother called people to come over-, but in general she was very happy with me there.
We didn’t talk of lot’s of important things because her mother was there all the time listening to us, and her gradma was there too, but we share some time together and that’s just fine. I know she needed a break.
So we did the usual: eating. She gave me this homemdade strawberry mermelade she prepared. It was… weir… but tasty.
I don’t know much of bipolarity, but my friend’s mom has some maniac behaviours while she’s sock too. No matter what we were talking about she always had a way to end up mentioning food, and how sh had a craving for sweets, always sweets… but when I said something about it she changed her mind saying she wasn’t much of a sweet eater.
Also, when we were all chating in the living room she had to put some music really loud, my friend kept turning the player off while she had a chance, but her mother always managed to put another CD on.
The lady was very restless too, she always wanted to help, or to do something to keep her hands busy, almost hyperactive. She was almost like a child, my friend had to always be very aware of was she was doing, because she could break something, throw away something and so on… Now I undestand why my friend it’s so exhausted and patiente short.
At last, she had to prepare some hot chocolate because her mother was being insistent. I get to have the happy cup.
It’s really surprizing to see how this disease developts through a single day. Even during an evening. When I arrived my friend’s mom was very elocuent and alert, she even got us presents -she gave me a mascara-, even if they were things that she won from selling Avon products, you could tell she knew what was she doing. But as the afternoon went by, she started to get very sleepy and tired, something she had hyperactive rushes, but then she quickly calmed down and started talking very slowly, almost rambling.
By the time I was leaving she started to allucinate, she was very calm, anybody could tell she was just chating with me; nut she started telling me this crazy stories.
I don’t know why I wa so calm and patient with my friend’s mom, I was never scared or felt rejection. Maybe it was because I’ve know her for almost 18 years. Still, I know I couldn’t handle that situation every single day for the rest of my life. I don’t know how my friend does it.
Then we went to the kitchen to prepare dinner when this happened. All of the sudden half of the kitchen was flooded. This is a problem the building have had lately, and my friend stood there so calm, in front of all this mess and chaos. she was just there, with a passive face and a sweet voice, she just keep talking to me as nothing happened. And I was just looking at her thinking tht this wasn’t fair.
My friend is so smart, and strong and kind, it’s not fair all of the thing that has happened to her in life. I mean, her father is a scumbag, she had to leave college because her father spent all of her education money on some tarrible things; her sisters acts like she doesn’t even belongs to that family, she had to left her job to take care of her mom; and of course, her mother is bipolar and gets sick very often. It’s not fair for her to carry the weight of her family on her shoulders, she has had to abandon all of her dreams.
I feel so sorry for her, it makes me just sad… so sad. I don’t even know what to do.
I love my friend, I really love her. If I could ever give something it would be more patience, because she really stresses out her mother’s condition. I mean, I can really ignore most of the things her mother does, but again, I do not live that situation every single day; and she’s not my mother. When it’s about your own mother it’s different, the only person in the world that can make me really angry and lost my temper is my mother, so I understand wmy my friend can’t ignore most of her mother’s behavior when she’s sick, she really takes it personal.