Crucifying KaЯmina BuЯana

Today I was in one of my brother’s band rehersal. I took some pictures and videos… now for some strange reasons they call me manager.

Yesterday I hung out with my new friends... I still don't feel like even seeing my old ones. We drank tequila and I'm still feeling miserable... it was a good tequila. Everybody is kinda mad wuth the guy I like, so we didn't ivite him. Now I gotta figure out how to make things up with him again. He still doesn't like me and I haven't gave up hope. I'm such a loser.

Yesterday I went shopping for christmas presents… but then I sent everything to hell and got some bracelets and a turtle ring for me. My cousin gave me her old boots she never wore… it’s renovation time!!

My mom just came from her bussines trip in Mexico... and sometimes I do like her terrible condition of shopoholic. And she said she didn't had enougth time to hang out. Lucky me. She even got me some pretty cool tights... now, I don't wear tights, but let's see if I can pull some outfit up. Tons of exfoliant sopa she stole form her hotel and some makeup. I really need a small set of eyeshadow that I could carry in my purse. Now I have a huge bottle of mexican tequila that I have to drink... Oh, damn... I am such a happy freak.

Last Saturday, my friend Elías, my brother and I went to a party at their drummer’s house. It was baaad… specially because of the zone she lives in, very insecure. But the thing is, if you’re going to have a party why don’t you have enough drink for everybody, enough food, or even enough glasses. If you don’t care to host a party maybe you should not have one! I don’t care about the fact that the elevator was broken in the building… but girl… at least clean your house. Anyway, the good things were the music…and the other people really like to dance so I dance a lot, and I mean, A LOT. I even picked up some german girl, haha, I was flattered because she was a gorgeous, tall, blonde girl. But thank you, no thank you. I would have rather a gorgeous german guy, but you know how life hates me.

Yesterday I was with a friend and my brother at the Institute, then we went for some dinner…. when we came back to the car, my friend had left the lights on and the battery was dead. None of us know shit about batteries, engines or cars in general. We stood there for almost three hours til’ his dad came to help us at 10 pm.

Coming fromt he doctor. He told me I was perfect after four months of my spine surgery. I finally can stop wearing thiss tupid corset! Yay!!! I kinda like my scar O.O

Yesterday I wen to to my crush's house because "suppossedly" there was going to be a party... It was a bad night... bad, bad night. This cookies (baked by my his sister) were the best thing about the whole NON-party. This is what my crush did the whole night... while me and other friends were talking. Particularly I was drinking and dancing by myself. At some point I just sat in a dark corner to drink... for hours... he never looked at me. I felt so fucking dissapointed and sad. Fuck my fucking life. As the nigth had been such a completely waste of time, and i was so emotionally unstable... I took a picture of myself inside his bathtub. I was drunk, that's all. I was wearing a little black dress for him!!! A fucking super short dress, and he didn't even told me I was cute. I'm still so fucking pissed off... REALLY. And this is what I wrote at 3 am when I arrived home: This time I really had a sparkle of hope. I dreamed about you noticing me and even falling fo...

This is me in my speedo in swimming lessons.

Why! Maybe I’ll go like this to class tomorrow… too much?

You cannot have an idea of the immensity of happiness I’m experimenting right now.

And this is my friend being a Sim while texting. So today we were hanging at my crush’s house, just chating and being silly (and eating, as always). So what did I do at my crush’s house? I did him a makeup as Frank N’ Further. And he liked it. Of course this in my mind was a little more personal, and just the two of us… it migth have been involve a kiss eve… but we were surrounded by my brother, his sister and other friend. Oh, bugger!

Yesterday was a fucking busy day. I got up early to go swiming, I had tu hurry because my brother was suppossed to have a gig at noon. But when I got there, their schedule was changed and they ended up playing at 6 pm. So I stayed all afternoon sitting on the floor of this disgusting location. We arrived home maybe at 8pm, an hour later we were leaving again to my friend birthday party... it was raining and we stood under the rain for half an hour. I really loved how I was wearing (you can't really notice int he picture but I was wearing boots, leggins, a mini white dress, and my new old favorite sweater) because I NEVER dress like this. I knew my friend's party was going to be bad... but I understimate how her friends can be so fucking boring and annoying. Some of them played Wii all nigth long, ALL NIGHT LONG. My brother was so tired he went to sleep early, so I was left alone in the middle of all those losers. I really had no intention to drink, but there was a turning point...

Yesterday was my best friend 24th birthday. We and other couple of friends wen to her house... I haven't been there since her last birthday the years before. Her mother is a really difficult person, and last nigth was a perfect ocassion to prove that. My friend lost it, and even include me in one od those figths, I was furious that she put me in that possition in public... so, inpublic as well, I told her I was pissed... Anyhow, the food was great, my friend cooked for us carbonara pasta, and then we ate cake. Althought all the troubles, we had fun. Everybody left before midnigth because of the tenssion, but me and my brother stayed. We had to sleep on the floor, and because of my condition and maybe because I'm too damn old for it, I couldn't sleep one bit, and still my spine and legs really hurt. But I did really enjoy my outfit. Oh, narcissism.

It's kinda funny my crush looks a little bit like him. How sad my life is.